In my previous post I mentioned that since Christ truly came into my heart I have been experiencing grace on entirely new levels. Going from ‘head grace’ to ‘heart grace’, from understanding and appreciating the concept of grace to feeling and living in a state of grace might not seem like a radical jump, but it is. I didn’t intentionally mess up the last few years of my life with some poor choices just because I was now ‘saved’. I know all about the verse that says not to use our freedom in Christ as a license to sin. But something subconscious was going on in me. I had spent 30 years pursing an understanding of God, and through this hoping for an experience of him. I had been straining for the experience of God and all that it entails. When finally God was within me, I think my entire soul shifted and relaxed. And while I grew for a few years after this, I also hit a few years of temptation and disobedience which landed me not in a pit judgement as expected but instead a garden of grace.
I want to spend some intimate ‘coffee time’ with Jesus on the subject of grace and the difference between an enlightenment of grace versus an experience of grace. But until those thoughts find their way into this blog, I want to share a poem I wrote several years ago. It is the only poem of mine, out of roughly 130 poems, which gives me goose bumps when I read it. Specifically there are a few lines that I notice cold chills washing over me every single time. I know this is the Spirit of God. I know that something of mercy and grace are so powerfully revealed in certain places of the poem. Perhaps it is my own experience of finally living in a state of grace and ‘getting it’ from the inside out rather than the outside in that causes this effect upon me. That partially may be the case. However, I think the Author of grace was behind the penmanship far more than the author of the poem. I pray God’s blessing upon you who read it, that this very kind and personal God so intent upon knowing you and I would unravel the intellectual chords of understanding and reveal the sweet experiential reality of his grace. That he would show us all how mercy, grace, love, and forgiveness trump sin and judgement every single time.
Reflections On The Grandeur Of An Almighty God
In our sinfulness and brokenness, we expected judgment
Nay, we envisaged wrath! Great peals of thunder
On our deserving heads – Great God
Cracking the skies with just whips whose stinging tips
Ought reach our inner depths
We waited for lightening in holy terror
It’s jagged breaks to blast our night
It’s terrible veins to illumine error
And sudden flashes to wrong our ‘right’
To expose the thoughts and intents of our hearts
But You didn’t live up to our expectation
You entered our world in disguised fashion
In smallness of form and humble array
You rocked our world in a different way
And split through history with resounding love
We weren’t prepared for the power of subtlety
We weren’t accustomed to this measure of greatness
Glory held different images in our minds
We locked ourselves in double bind as we
Wrestled with the idea of a forgiving God
Push forward now to the end of time – press our imagination further
See how it all comes together! See Him standing in brilliance!
See the myriads shimmering in the light of His countenance,
With love and peace and joy and truth clothing them for all eternity –
Oh praise God, who lifts our souls from conviction to serenity!